


You make my heart shake, bend and break

by sheawaldenbecks (styleztomlinson)



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Handholding, Jealousy, M/M, jealous lukas, the OMC is only there for like 0.5 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8569846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styleztomlinson/pseuds/sheawaldenbecks
Summary: “You were jealous, weren’t you?”
“I- I wasn’t.”
“You were. Why do you care who flirts and dances with me, huh? You have no right to be jealous. I told you that I wasn't going to be your little bitch that you can keep around whenever it pleases you."
or, a reimagining of the scenes at the club in New York.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, I talked to my best friends about a reimagining of the scenes at the club in New York, and Lukas getting jealous. Sami asked me to put it into words, and, well. Here we are. This is for my [best](http://hale-stilinski.tumblr.com) [friends](http://baneslightwood.tumblr.com), my biggest supporters, and my favourite people in the whole world. I love you more than anything.
> 
> This is unbeta'ed, and any mistakes are my own. The title is from Wild by Troye Sivan.

Being alone in the club had not been what Philip had expected would happen tonight. In hindsight, he probably should have realized that taking Lukas to a gay club would be too much. He’d just wanted to show him that not all places were as stifling as Tivoli, that there were places where he could just be, without any fear of repercussion.

Philip took a sip of his drink. He didn’t quite want to leave the club just yet. He’d missed the security he felt in the city, the feeling that people didn’t about him being gay.

When he looked across the dimly lit club, he noticed there was a guy checking him out. Philip cocked an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected any kind of attention tonight.

Well.

He hadn’t expected any kind of attention from anyone except for one person, and said person didn’t want to be seen near him, so.

The guy met his gaze before beginning to make his way over to him. As he came closer, Philip took him in. He was dressed in a black dress shirt paired with a pair of skinny jeans. His brown hair was styled into a fringe, his eyes green.

“You here alone?” was the first thing he asked once he was close enough.

“What’s it to you?” Philip replied.

“Well if you’re here alone I was going to ask you to join me on the dance floor.”

Philip looked him up and down, thinking of the possible ways he could answer. Technically he hadn’t come here alone, and yet here he was, alone.

_Screw it_ , he thought.  
  
“Yeah, I’m here alone.”

The guy smiled at him. “Excellent,” he said before leading him out onto the dance floor.

Dancing with him felt- different. Granted he and Lukas had never danced, but it felt wrong, somehow, to have another body so close to him, one that wasn’t Lukas’.

The guy caught his eye and danced a bit closer to him, letting his leg slip between Philip’s. Philip was just about to pull back slightly when someone stepped between them, effectively blocking his path.

“What the hell, man?” the guy asked.  
  
“Why don’t you get the hell out of here, man?” Lukas replied, staring him down.

“What the hell is your problem?”  
  
“Right now? You are.”

The guy caught Philip’s eye. “The next time you go to a club, maybe don’t lie about being alone,” he said, shaking his head. “Whatever, man,” he continued, before leaving.

“What the hell was that?” Philip asked when Lukas turned around to face him.

“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?”

Philip glared at him. “No,” he said before turning around to leave.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Outside. I need air,” Philip answered before making his way through the crowd. He could feel Lukas following him.

They stepped out into the night air and into the alley behind the club. Philip turned around to face him, steeling himself and trying to make himself look indifferent.

“So. What was that just now?”  
  
“He was- Look, I saw how that guy was looking at you!”  
  
“Like _what_ , Lukas? Huh? Like he might’ve wanted me, is that it? Would that have been so damn bad? You sure as hell don’t look at me at all, so what’s it to you?” 

“It could have ended badly!” Lukas said, the dishonesty about his reasons obvious in his voice.  
  
Philip clenched his jaw. “I can take care of myself just fine. You were jealous, weren’t you?”

“I- I wasn’t.”

“You were. Why do you care who flirts and dances with me, huh? You have no right to be jealous. I told you that I wasn't going to be your little bitch that you can keep around whenever it pleases you."

“Fine, I was jealous! You know I like you, Philip!”  
  
For a moment, Philip was stunned. He hadn’t expected Lukas to be so straightforward about it. Granted he had said it at the sheriff’s office, but Philip had barely dared believe it then, and had tried to write it off as him being drunk.

“Okay? I was jealous because I wanted to be where he was. Are you happy now?”

“You left.”

“Yeah. I did. And I also came back, and then you were already all up on that guy.”

Philip was quiet for a moment. “I was about to pull away.”

Lukas looked momentarily confused. “What?”  
  
“From the guy. He came too close, and I was just about to pull away when you interrupted.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Yeah.”

Lukas hesitated for a moment before moving a bit closer to him, his hand reaching out and then falling to his side as if he meant to touch him but didn’t dare to.

“Look, I- I’m sorry, okay?”

Philip looked up to meet his gaze, swallowing hard. “I thought it would help.”

Lukas looked confused. “What?”  
  
“Tonight. I thought that being at this club would help.”

“Oh,” Lukas said, pausing for a moment. “I- I get it.”

Lukas looked at him before ever so slowly moving his hands up to his face, pausing every now and then as if he was expecting Philip to push him away.

Lukas cupped Philip’s face in his hands, gently caressing his skin with his thumbs. He leaned in and pressed the softest of kisses to Philip’s lips, lingering for a moment before tentatively deepening it. He ran his hands down to his neck, almost as if he physically needed to hold onto him. Philip’s hands made their way down to Lukas’ waist, as if he didn’t want to let him go.

With a last press of his lips against Philip’s, Lukas broke the kiss, but he didn’t pull away.

“I really am sorry,” he said, in a tone that made it seem as if he was apologizing for so much more than just tonight.

He looked up and met Philip’s gaze, almost as if he was searching for something, before leaning in and pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to his lips.

“Do you want to head back inside?” Lukas asked.

Philip could see the underlying hesitancy in Lukas’ eyes. It wasn’t at the forefront, but it was obvious that it was there. With a pang to his chest, he realized that Lukas was only asking for his sake - that if he were to say yes, Lukas would go back in with him for his sake.

That wasn’t how it was supposed to be, though. Philip didn’t want to force him into doing something he wasn’t comfortable with. Not now, not ever.

“Maybe some other time.”  
  
Lukas looked surprised. “You sure?”  
  
“Yeah,” Philip replied, meaning it. “Let’s just… walk for a bit, okay?”

Lukas looked at him for a moment before a small smile spread across his features.

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that. Take me to that famous New York pizza you’ve talked about so much.”

Philip laughed. “You’re going to regret it afterwards though. One taste of it, and you’ll realize what you’ve been missing your whole life and never want to go back.”

Lukas looked at him, all traces of humour gone from his features as he smiled softly at him.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he replied, his tone making it clear that they weren’t talking about the pizza anymore.

Philip just looked at him for a moment, before he could a feel his lips forming into a warm smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, then. Let’s go.”  
  
Together, they started walking side by side in the cold New York night.

A red light brought them to a halt after several minutes of walking in a comfortable silence. They were standing close enough to touch, their arms brushing together and their hands nearly touching between them. Philip heard how Lukas let out a shaky breath, before he felt how he hesitantly took his hand in his own. Philip looked over at him for a moment, assessing the situation, before daring to gently squeeze his hand. Lukas looked at him, smiling softly, before tentatively moving their hands and lacing their fingers together.

“You okay?” Philip asking him, his eyes never leaving his face.

“Yeah,” Lukas said. “Yeah I’m good,” he continued, squeezing Philip’s hand.  
  
“Alright. Good,” Philip said, unable to keep himself from smiling. 

He liked how well they fit together.

Philip had done many things in his lifetime. Some of them were physical things that he had done to survive. Things that he now regretted in hindsight, regretted forcing himself to do, things that made him question himself and his self worth.

But here, under the New York night hand in hand with a boy that he liked and that he was slowly but surely starting to realize actually liked him back, he had never felt closer to or more intimate with another person.

Philip allowed himself to smile, gently swaying their hands between them for a moment before giving Lukas’ hand a tender squeeze and tightening their hold on each other.

He never wanted to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii. Thank you so much for reading! Any kind of feedback brightens my day and means the world to me, in case you feel like it. I'm [styleztomlinson](http://styleztomlinson.tumblr.com) on Tumblr, if you want to stop by and say hi. Have a nice day!


End file.
